Tax Churches. Fund NASA.

And the lord spake upon me

Sun, 19 May 2013 00:51:01 -0400

So. I’m with this bridal party. Just met rhw groom, but he seems awesome. This gosling castoff wannabe Blondie hufflepuff cocksucker is next to me. Wanna dickplant my junk on his mouth. It’s terrible. He’s an ass of magnitude and not pop pop. FML

I wish I hibernated during hockey offseason.

Mon, 13 May 2013 12:26:34 -0400

I wish I hibernated during hockey offseason.

I think my girlfriend is slightly envious I wrote that about oxycodone and not her. She’s the...

Sat, 04 May 2013 02:05:34 -0400

I think my girlfriend is slightly envious I wrote that about oxycodone and not her. She’s the opiate of my life though, I hope she knows that.

I like writing sonnets when fucked up

Sat, 04 May 2013 02:03:00 -0400

Gentle warmth advances stem to stern

Emanating outward core to skin

Pulsing undulating, close to burn

Escalating thermal flux within

Feverish delusional response

Sweltering, ablaze in flesh and chest

Engulfed in pleasure, hypnotized at once

Chemically swayed under mild duress

Desirous temptation usurps the mind

Elation spawned of base euphoric glaze

The opiates controlling from behind

The eyes compliant, widened, thick with glaze

The memory clouds, all sides now beset

Forgot my depth of love for percocet

On the subject of finding anything

Fri, 03 May 2013 14:00:02 -0400

Internet.

That is all.

Notes on the final home game of the season

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 21:47:47 -0400

I was pissed at first that Chad “Goal Black Hole” LaRose was on the first line (and on the PP, WTF?!?) in Semin’s absence, but then I realized Muller was just being sneaky with how we were going to eventually lose.

On one hand, I was happy that the Rangers tied it. On the other hand, I wanted to try and make an argument that Ellis made a deliberate kicking motion on that goal (although good job Danny boy, we needed that loss with the Bolts and Cats losing too).

I <3 Ruu goals.

Hate that there were so many NYR fans in attendance to see that win, but glad it basically told the Jets to go fuck themselves.

Drop Chad “I couldn’t score in a whorehouse if I came gold doubloons” LaRose, keep baby Staal, because at least baby Staal has some size to go along with his hands of stone. Seriously, I’ve all but written off renewing my tickets, but if they drop Chad “Overslotted like a prostitute doing a handstand” LaRose and I may consider reupping just to show Jim “I like my defensemen like I like my women, loose, sloppy, and trying to score even when they should be staying at home” Rutherford that if he makes better decisions good things can happen.

Help us NHL lottery, you’re our only hope.

Netflix needs a "random episode" button

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 16:20:45 -0400

icantbelieveitsnotmagic:

Like, so you can just go back to a show you’ve seen every episode and just *click* not have to think about what episode to watch

I have oft dreamed of such, and loudly exclaimed as much to my poor girlfriend. Although, the depths of our indecisiveness would necessitate randomly picking new shows and movies as well.

On the subject of poor search heuristics

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 15:00:56 -0400

Dearest Netflix,

When I search for The Last Boy Scout and it’s unavailable to stream, I understand that you can’t make every movie available. However, when you suggest Soulja Boy: The Movie, you’re just embarrassing yourself and nauseating me. Get your shit together.

Love in Christ,

TCFN

betterthanyou: Mmmmm me I had no idea you were that flexible

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 14:09:18 -0400

betterthanyou:

Mmmmm me

I had no idea you were that flexible

Stole this from imgur.com, but seriously, this has been the case...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 14:00:44 -0400

Stole this from imgur.com, but seriously, this has been the case for years. Before google is was newsgroups and MSDN knowledge bases. Sure you’d remember a bit here and there, but mainly it was researching symptoms. Before I did this for a living, everything I learned about fixing computers was gained from trying to play videogames. Charlie and I playing DOOM over a 14.4K at roughly 1 frame every 2 seconds.

On the subject of positive coincidence

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 21:40:00 -0400

I like when I tag something and when I click on it I’m the only post

fast food ethics

blocktease

tag coincidence

I’m sure there’s more, but those are the two I was surprised by this week

Papa Johns: And you want that delivered at 11PM? me: What’s the latest I can get it delivered...

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 21:38:52 -0400

Papa Johns: And you want that delivered at 11PM?

me: What’s the latest I can get it delivered and not feel like a douchebag?

Papa Johns: Yeah 11PM sounds good…

me:OK, sounds good to me.

“What happens when the non-existent bumps against the decrepit?” DAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMNNNN

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 21:16:43 -0400

“What happens when the non-existent bumps against the decrepit?”

DAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMNNNN

Silverfish randomly appearing in extreme hills biomes is the biggest fucking blocktease.

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 15:10:54 -0400

Silverfish randomly appearing in extreme hills biomes is the biggest fucking blocktease.

On the subject of dual meanings

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 16:25:04 -0400

Today I was made aware that the only reason I have a girlfriend is because all the girls worth dating are straight.

On the subject of customer service

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 10:52:51 -0400

I can’t wait until drugs are legalized just so I can walk into a store and buy them and not have to jump through a billionty hoops because this dude has to get from that dude but needs money up front but can’t get back until that dude gets back to give to this dude to give to me.

On the subject of targets of terrorism

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 16:48:09 -0400

I hate Boston as much as the next guy, but couldn’t you have done this to Buffalo instead?

Because fuck Buffalo, that’s why.

I did yard work today. Basically, I committed mass murder against the bastards who’ve been...

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 03:44:10 -0400

I did yard work today.

Basically, I committed mass murder against the bastards who’ve been covering me in pollen bukkake. Take that motherfuckers, nobody cums in my nose unless it’s a really statistically significant outlying event that only happens once in a young man’s life, before his reflexes catch up with his masturbatory libido.

Stahp. Don't do it Canes. Just stahp, you drunk. Want Jesus Jones.

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 21:28:00 -0400

On the subject of curiosity

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 22:49:57 -0400

I’m sitting in a free to play online poker room, and the guy next to me is named pdwyer. The ability to chat will cost me $20. Been trying to bet $390 a lot to see if it’s him (since I can’t just bet 39)